The Soft Soap Box Derby

It is always more than a little comedic when the liberal media adopt a cuddly new plaything. It seems as though they do it about as frequently as Jolie or Madonna. The last “conservative” that the left was so enamoured with was Colin Powell. From the liberal media’s point of view, a “conservative” is someone who parallels the left on the majority of their ideological idiocy even though there are one or two “disagreements” with the Democratic cosmology. Regardless, that little bump or two in the road still qualifies them as a “conservative enough” truncheon for clubbing Republican melons.

The newest member of this elite (elitist?) club is Senator John McCain. John is just the kind of “maverick” the left is so fond of. His membership card to the “Gang of Fourteen” by itself is enough to warrant progressive canonization. The media is focusing on the areas of DISAGREEMENT between the conservative base and McCain and they are as giddy as a gaggle of girl scouts about the festering fissure. Not to beleaguer the point but there are a few “stark disagreements” that do spring to mind immediately.

It is safe to say that within the dystrophic culture of politics, you can and should be judged by the company you keep. How about a few rancid morsels from the “gang”: Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins; RINO “Maine-iacs”. How about the Democratic David Duke, Kleagle Robert Byrd.. etc…

When it comes to “company”, John has bedded down with some of the most “Democratic” of the Democrats, scoring top billing on almost every one of the Vaudevillian slap stick bills they have laughingly assembled.

McCain Feingold. Here John apparently thought that “reaching across the aisle” meant trolling the Democratic intellectual cesspool in order to find an uber liberal goofier than Dennis Kucinich. Just for giggles, these two took a Herculean whack at that pesky first amendment.

McCain Kennedy. Signing up with Ted Kennedy was the equivalent of hitting the bottom and continuing to dig. In short, these two tag team partners wanted to grant AMNESTY to anywhere from twelve to twenty million ILLEGAL ALIENS. This proves that McCain is completely oblivious to the rampant problem of illegal aliens invading America. The citzens in his home state of Arizona who are already saddled with the extraordinary burden of millions of illegal aliens, are quite familiar with McCain’s spasmodic recognition of the pervasive problem of out of control illegal immigration.

McCain Lieberman. Here we have a “one issue conservative”, who was nearly drummed out of the Socialist circle for the apostasy of supporting the War on Terror, getting together with McCain to tackle a few nagging environmental issues. They should have consulted the environmental dirigible Al Gore so as to segue succinctly from the sublime to the ridiculous.

These “stark disagreements” extend onwards to his votes AGAINST tax reductions (that blasphemy was done twice..), ANWR drilling, Proposition 200 in Arizona and continuing through his votes FOR embryonic stem cell research, amnesty for illegal aliens, closing Guantanamo Bay, etc..

Lost in the mix are McCain’s “Kerry’s.” In 1999, John said he wouldn’t support the repeal of Rowe v. Wade. Apparently on this topic of abortion there has been an Epiphany of sorts, otherwise known as a “Kerry.” He has covered a lot of ground on the issue of gun control and his “stance” on “enhanced interrogation techniques” is more than just a little malleable.

It is certainly no wonder then that the liberal media is sending hearts and flowers to Senator McCain. However, once the two major parties have had their conventions or once the Democrats decide upon their next Generalissimo, will the soft soaping of Senator John McCain come to an abrupt end? Seems silly to ask, doesn’t it…

Suddenly, the media will pull a “Kerry” of their own and the primary focus of their attention and derision will now become the AGREEMENTS McCain has with the conservatives.

Then the battle cry will become McCain’s “hawkish” stance as regards the War on Terror and the “Surge.” McCain’s support of school choice in the form of vouchers will raise the ire of the phonies in the NEA. His support for capital punishment and mandatory sentencing will cause every pony-tailed pacifist to strike the appropriate pose of righteous indignation. His position on gun control will become a “campaign issue.”

Gone will be the muckraking media’s warm embrace and all of the sloppy kisses for the “maverick from Arizona.” He will overnight become a bastion of conservative fascism. The fifth columnists of the fourth estate will only see the evil in their former crush as it will be time to beat the drums and unfurl the flag for the Hammer and Sickle Party. The chafing between John McCain and the conservative republicans through the jaundiced eyes of the impartial media will quickly become “yesterdays news.”

Miraculously, the ethereal poppycock of “Progressive Pastor BHO/JFK” will be all the media rage and all of the mash notes they held in reserve for McCain will be stealthily tossed into the fire at the next American flag burning..

Now the sycophantic soft-soaping will go to what appears to be the Democratic front runner from the state of Illinois, but an interesting analogy begins to take shape. Back in 1988, Senator Dan Quayle had twice the amount of experience in the United States Senate as Senator Obama has now and Obama wants to be the PRESIDENT. Quayle was castigated at the time for “not having enough experience” when he was asked to be the VICE President. Will the “impartial” media be as relentlessly savage to Senator Obama as they were with Senator Quayle over this “inexperience” issue or will they acquiesce and genuflect before the fictitious “Camelot-ization” of BHO/JFK? Would they ridicule the Senator from Illinois if he supposedly misspelled “potato”? Again, it seems silly to ask, doesn’t it..

No, we will be continuously and breathlessly told of the “Beelzebub from Arizona.” The nation will be reminded every thirty seconds or so that the “maverick” who used to “reach across the aisle in the spirit of bipartisanship” has surreptitiously been transformed into a rock-ribbed conservative who likes to kick little kitty cats, steal blankets from the homeless and laugh at the handicapped. Meanwhile, the tyro Senator from Illinois who in reality doesn’t have enough experience to run a paper route, will be awash in fawning worship courtesy of the impartial media..

It is only appropriate to quote Senator Lloyd Bentsen from the vice presidential debate of 1988 and apply it to Senator Obama, “Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”

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