The Big Bang Theory, Liberal Style

As the events of March 4th unfolded, it seemed that the liberal planets all managed to align themselves for a magnificent collision. Lets just call it the Big Bang Theory, liberal style. As the progressive pundits pray and pontificate over a ticket comprised of the two candidates, it is all just puffery in an attempt to defuse or deflect the inevitable explosion. Or explosions.The idea of a Democratic love-in will quickly crash upon the rocky shores of the island of egomania. With seven weeks to go until the Pennsylvania primary, it is all systems go for “Operation Gillooly.” When this is all over with, the only way either candidate would consider being the others Vice President would be if the other were diagnosed with something terminal.The problem that these candidates have is one that they both share. Neither has any palpable, relevant experience because if either of them had any, the other would have attempted to exploit it by now. Both have a “lifetime of experience” as long as no one bothers to define the parameters of “experience.” In Clinton-speak, breathing qualifies as “experience.”

Lets bring closure to this right now. The Hillary “3AM Red phone” nonsense, while humorous, brings out this truth: the only time the phone rang at 3AM in the Clinton White House was when the Secret Service was calling Bill to let him know that his next “appointment” had arrived and had disrobed in the Oval Office or it was Domino’s on their usual delivery run..

The unfortunate thing for both of the Democratic candidates is that without any tangible experience differences to discuss and with their refusal to address the issues of the day, the only options left for debate or discussion are otherwise known as the “personal attack.”

When your idea of a stump speech is, “We believe in change. We believe in hope. We hope for change..” there certainly isn’t much grist for any opponents political mill.

So discussions of Obama’s wardrobe, his lapel pins and his wife’s thesis paper are the only available topics, and the opposition is just getting warmed up. Things will have to get personal. There are no other options. Shall we discuss their favorite colors? Coke or Pepsi?

Will either Hillary or Barack suddenly put forth a complete series of position papers outlining their presidential plans? That would just become available material for their opponent to disassemble and to club them with. They will continue to emit the vaporous fog of sempiternal nonsense so they won’t be giving the opposition any opportunity for traction. This lesson was learned the hard way very early on in the campaign.

When news of the economy being on the downturn came out in mid January, the Clinton team decided to offer up the “Plan to Jump Start the Economy.” This seventy billion-dollar stinker was in the air about as long as the Spruce Goose. For those who missed its fifteen minutes of shame, it was the economical equivalent of lobbing a sandbag to a drowning man. To those of us who were paying attention, it was step one in the implementation of the typical Hammer and Sickle Party plan for the deconstruction of the American economy. Team Clintonista quickly moth balled the idea of “details” and replaced it with the “thirty five years of experience” ruse. This all happened so quickly that Obama didn’t have the chance to either lambaste her over the plan or up the ante to one hundred billion, since the left loves playing with other peoples money..

The Democrats understand that the best way to implement their Socialism is through subterfuge and misdirection. They can’t even be honest about their intentions with their constituents. However, the fellow travelers of the left have long ago ingested the elixir of the true believer, so the “Green Eggs and Ham” campaigns of Clinton and Obama are fine for them today.

There is one important difference between these two candidates. Not only is Obama an inexperienced politician but he is an inexperienced Clinton historian as well. The bulk of the remainder of this battle will be taking place behind the scenes where the Clintons (plural.) will be gouging every eye, kicking every shin and fracturing every skull they can. Superdelegates all over the country will be waking up with Khartoum’s head in bed with them with a little reminder note from Bill and Hill attached. Obama had better begin to understand the “unique” relationship of the Clintons and their bloodlust for power. Right now, thousands of lawyers are burning the midnight oil in preparation for the possible (or probable?) Michigan and Florida “re-do” and how to spin Hillary’s impending “Kerry” on the issue into something positive.

Sensitivities that are just starting to fester will continue chafing both campaigns and their supporters. HRC began with her whining over always being asked the first question at the debate and now Barack sees perniciousness at play over an image of himself that he believes has been made darker. Every other day we will be regaled with tantrums of “I’m being picked on because I’m a black..”, “You’re just saying that because I’m a woman..”

If the idea of your pastors sermons being scrutinized or the batting order for questioning upsets you, try changing the “subject” by talking about a substantive issue or two.. You know, details. Hint for Barack: Hillary left the door open for you, why won’t you walk through it? Hillary’s claims of “experience” are all tied to the coat tails of Bill Clinton as Governor of Arkansas and as the President. Can’t you bring yourself to begin dismantling the façade of the “Clinton record?” (Travelgate, FBI files, cattle futures, Whitewater, Sandy Berger and on and on..) Will her vote for the War in Iraq be the only thing you are going to talk about all the way up to the Democratic convention?

Hints for Senator Obama: Mark Penn, Clinton henchman said they were beginning a “fuller vetting process” of you. Harold Ickes said, “the campaigns chief objective was not to sully Mr. Obama’s image or record, but to cast a spotlight on lightly examined or unknown aspects of both.” The operative word in all of that? “Chief..” He also said, “It is clear that too much is yet unknown about Senator Obama.” This is known as foreshadowing. It is September 17th, 1939 and you are Poland. When you hear the rumbling look to the east, Sir.


2 responses to “The Big Bang Theory, Liberal Style

  1. ‘sempiternal’…? Bill Buckley would be proud.


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