You may find this very hard to believe, but two more Mooselims, undoubtedly “practitioners of the religion of peace”, were up to their usual airport hijinks again.. According to an ABC News exclusive, “this was almost certainly a dry run, a test..” according to “one senior law enforcement official”. “Almost certainly”? Why “almost”, just go with “certainly” and leave it at that.. “A test”? The security guards/federal imbeciles/simians who make me take my shoes off and repeatedly rummage through my carry on bag while Habib, with his “Magnificent Nineteen” shirt and ticking turban gets a pass, well they obviously FAILED another “test” again..
Not unlike the phony “imams” who were trying another angle on a US Airways flight back in November of 2006, these Mooselims were OBVIOUSLY “testing” the waters. For the sake of argument, I am going to assume that these two were Mooselims. What would I base such an assumption upon? Their names were Ahmed Mohammed Nasser al Soofi of “Detroit” via YEMEN and Hezem al Murisi.. Silly me, just a couple of nice Irish kids out on a lark.. Maybe they were pledging for a college fraternity.. Gamma Gamma Allah Akbar..
The good news in this is that Ahmed Mohammed Nasser al Soofi al Gore was “stopped” in Birmingham due to “bulky clothing”.. Were that actually a barometer for being double checked at the airport, the “Prince of Whales”, Michael Moore must be forever taken aside behind the silly curtain for an additional fat down/pat down.. Here is where things start getting a little sticky, “in addition, al Soffi was found to be carrying $7,000 in cash and a check of his luggage found a cell phone taped to a Pepto-Bismol bottle, three cell phones taped together, several watches taped together, a box cutter and three large knives…” The bad news in all this is that after all of that, he was “cleared for the flight from Birmingham to O’Hare”..
The misunderstood Mooselims were traveling with “mock bombs” yet they were ALLOWED to travel through Birmingham and Chicago. It really doesn’t matter that these “mock bombs” weren’t real, at that point, these two should have been taken into custody immediately and the FBI notified. But instead, the mall cops decided to allow these Mooselims on a recon run to continue on their merry way. Wouldn’t want them to miss out on that bag of peanuts and that half a can of soda..
“Once in Chicago, officials say they learned al Soofi checked his luggage on a flight to Washington’s Dulles airport for connections on flights to Dubai and then Yemen even though he did not board the flight himself..” So the box cutters and the knives, the taped up cell phones, those didn’t set off any red flags.. It was when someone discovered that one of the Mooselims wasn’t sitting above his suitcase that the whole thing became a serious situation that was in need of further attention..
Once in Chicago, Al Murisi joined the fray. Then “Customs and Border Control officials” learned that al Soofi was not on the flight from Dulles to Dubai, the plane was ordered to return so that HIS LUGGAGE COULD BE REMOVED.. Keep in mind that earlier, alert members of the crack “security team” found knives, box cutters and cell phones taped together but these HIGHLY trained “professionals” allowed the Mooselims to proceed, but now, since the “owner” wasn’t on board, the suspicious luggage needed to be removed.
These now FEDERAL employees, these primates who man these gates at the airports, these anthropoids who operate these scanners MUST be under orders to IGNORE ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS when a Mooselim wants to fly. WE have to go through the dance of the demented for these illiterate morons while they stand there with their silly blue outfits and their shiny plastic name tags but the PRIME SUSPECTS are allowed to do as they wish out of either political correctness or abject stupidity on the part of these glorified crossing guards..
The bottom line: those who are the MOST suspicious are allowed to board planes AS LONG AS THEIR LUGGAGE DOES. Makes no difference WHAT is IN the luggage, as long as the suicide bomber is in the seat next to you chanting from the terrorist playbook while trying to light his shoe ablaze and his carryon is underneath him, everything is okey dokey.. It would be a much more serious matter if the Mooselim tried to light his shoe in the lavatory of the plane or God forbid, tamper with the smoke detector in there.. Then again, you will probably be safe as you might not make the flight because YOU will still be back at the “security check point” reassembling ALL of your personal belongings and completely re-dressing yourself from the “thorough” going over that you got from the federal Forrest Gumps at the gate..
Here are MY flight restrictions: 1) ANY bag check that reveals a “Co-ran” will bring an immediate refund and a trip to the local bus station. 2) Any person with three or more hyphens in their name, see rule number one.. 3) Anyone who forgot to remove their cabbie identification card from their lapel, see rule number one.. 4) Any and ALL Mooselims: see rule number one.. The bottom line is that the next time a plane is hijacked and used as a missile and the voice recorder on board captures the hijacker exclaiming “Jesus is Lord” right before impact, THEN and only then should WE have to go through these ridiculous rituals at the airports. Until then, please refer to the above for guidance..
Look, you have all of that money from all of that oil that we buy at inflated prices from you and your countrymen, buy your OWN damn airline. That way if you want to blow anything up, you can take your friends/ coconspirators with you.. That way NO ONE would consider you suspicious for changing seats and yelling “death to the infidel” as you wandered around in the aisles.. That way the person in the seat next to you won’t be offended by your personal allergy to hygiene as he or she will probably smell as badly as you do.. No more worries about “flying while Mooselim” or even the scary and frightening intimidation of “Islamophobia”..
The two Mooselims were charged with “preparations for a terrorist attack”.. With the awesome job our airport screeners do when confronted with ACTUAL TERRORISTS as opposed to grandmothers and the handicapped, we had better begin making “preparations” for the next marble monument to be placed at the final resting place of the next group of Mooselim’s handiwork..