If..

If the dissemination of reality were mandatory within the world of politics (and it SHOULD be mandatory because we are the VICTIMS of their follies..) the following would be the transcript from the next OWEbama shampaign speech/donation grovel..

The price for a gallon of gasoline has gone up a full two dollars a gallon since I took office. During the entire eight years of the Bush administration, it went up a mere thirty cents a gallon. Five years ago, my collectivist contemporaries made heavy weather of this thirty cent “increase” including Nancy Pelosi who guaranteed that the price of gasoline would DROP if we were given the House..

Since I entered DC, at least six million jobs have disappeared due to my Democratic diligence. The exact number will be difficult to report to you at this time as the fascist fog of “jobs saved or created” and “jobs supported”, magnificent ruses created by my Marxist mentors has made the process of an actual tally extremely difficult but as you know, that is why we do things like that..

Almost any descriptor about America that has been effected by my socialist scorched Earth programs and policies since January of 2009 has had to be followed by the word “crisis”.. The economic “crisis”. The housing “crisis”. The genuine “crisis” has come about due to the Democratic majorities in BOTH Houses since 2006 and it was brought to a head when the nation nonsensically fell for the ruse of “hope and change”. There is no “hope” and the “change” was NOT for the better..

As you all know, whenever there is a “crisis”, real or imaginary, the ONLY answer is to employ MORE liberals in Washington and for them to get about the business of sequestering more “revenues”.. The ONLY reason that there is ANY “crisis” in America is due to the chronic under-funding of the plethora of progressive panaceas.

Housing sales and home values are at “historic” lows. However, I feel that America’s “investment” in such scandals as Solyndra have made the nation safer and much more energy efficient..

I personally fostered “historic” debt, deficits and defaults, however, the “default” for all of this that “we have inherited” came from the previous president.. Get it, “default’? I wrote that joke myself, people.. On a more serious note, even though I brought in scads of unconstitutional “czars” and even though their efforts were combined with the ridiculous number of liberal Democrats that I installed within my administration, even with ALL of that assembled liberal brilliance, we couldn’t figure out how to “fix” the economy that I like to claim was masterminded by a solitary simpleton from Texas.. So we just gave up and we figured that we would just reward each other by trying to steal as much from the middle class as we could while we could..

That’s right, I openly bribed Democratic politicians in order to have my socialized medicine scam passed onto the backs of the middle class. The total cost for this lunacy still hasn’t been, nor actually can it be estimated, but it was nice of everyone to fall for OUR completely made up, low ball numbers BEFORE the votes were counted..

Under my watchful eye, the Fast and Furious scandal erupted for about a day or two and recently the Solyndra scandal made headlines for about ten or fifteen minutes.

On that note, I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my “friends” of the “impartial” media for running interference for me and my “Target America First” administration. NONE of this would have been possible without their tacit approval and their masterful deflection and distraction techniques.. Their work in getting me elected and their help as I was planting my IED’s within the nation’s economy will not be soon forgotten..

Based upon my obvious successes in the past four years, I would appreciate your vote so that we can continue to destroy that which was America and if given another chance, I promise that I will redouble my efforts to that end.. Those of you who want a picture with George Clooney and me, get out your checkbooks now and form a line on the left..

I suppose that OWEbama won’t be saying, “they’re trying to scare you about me” this time around because what he has done to America is SCARY enough..

This is what we SHOULD be hearing, this is what we should have heard from those tasked with allegedly “telling the truth”, you know, “reporting”, but exactly what HAVE we been hearing in the last few months? In this order: the “contraception deception”, including the free gift of the non-issue “slut” NON-controversy, a dead black thug in Florida, “I killed Osama”, “NOW I support gay marriage” and now everyone is all agog over the cover of the insignificant Time magazine (which was followed up by the even more insignificant “Newsweek” gay halo cover)..

As cover and concealment of the REAL “War on Women” being fought by the Democrats, I believe that the “crisis” of “salary parity” for women might need to be addressed soon.. Just a few moments ago, just before he flip-flopped (Kerry’d) on the whole gay thing, OWEbama was making the rounds to at least 130 colleges. He HAD to address the “crisis” of the nation’s “student loans” and the best place to do that is in front of the college age VOTERS who aren’t familiar with the Democratic “promise and DON’T deliver” style of campaigning.. Matters not, just count the votes. How they are acquired is irrelevant..

The left will prove that they will do ANYTHING to keep you from “looking back” and should you be so intrepid as to attempt to do so, they will accuse you of “looking BLACK”.. If anyone’s research begins to reveal the light of day upon ANY of the OWEbama heresy and if any media outlet dares to expose the exposé, the left will trot out its certified racist lunatics who will bellow that this is STILL a nation replete with “racists”.. The cameras will roll, the flashbulbs will pop and those with an actual argument AGAINST OWEbama and the Democrats will be intimidated into silence.. Those not intimidated will then just be ignored by the “impartial” media..

With just a cursory glance at the ACTUAL OWEbama “record”, it is no wonder he NOW likes something as “controversial” as gay marriage. The left is desperately flailing to “support” ANYTHING that will then effectively take YOUR eyes off of the OWEbama record of “accomplishments”. Gay marriage? Desperation makes for some strange bedfellows and there isn’t anyone stranger than the denizens of the Democratic Party..

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12 responses to “If..

  1. And, let’s not forget the how he saved AIG and some big banks and therefore prevented a collapse of the world’s financial industry. And how he saved GM by screwing it’s bond holders, closing dealerships ( because the owners did not contribute to his campaign ) which resulted in thousands of lost jobs. And the absolutely “brilliant” Cash for Clunkers scheme that had children in elementary schools laughing at it’s stupidity. And the extremely ” Patriotic ” lawsuit filed against the state of AZ for doing it’s required duty to protect it’s citizens. And shutting down fossil fuel production which has been a huge boost to our economy, especially in the Gulf of Mexico. And stopping the Keystone pipeline, since that oil is not really needed here , and China needs it more than we do. And , since we are only 16 trillion dollars in dept , let’s buy more land in states with oil reserves, so that no one can drill there.

    I am so overwhelmed with the accomplishments of this admin., that unfortunaely I cannot continue the list . Please accept my apology !!!

  2. We’re right there with you, Larry and JJ. It is exhausting to read even half of what he has done and it brings fear, trembling, night sweats, insomnia, depression, callused knees and family disharmony. What a guy. But the laugh may be on him as his eligibility is once again raising its head and WE THE PEOPLE will smite that head. The screwy primary this cycle has created more murky vision than ever before. It will probably take years before we will see healing. It will take many lawyers turning to the right and judges getting off their soap boxes to right our ship. The Bible tells us the Master can still the waves, so I suggest we get on our sore knees again and seek repentance and guidance like our Forefathers received.

  3. I was sitting in my usual booth in a local cafe, facing the wall where one of the TV’s are, reading my morning paper and waiting for my breakfast to be served yesterday. “The Veiw” came on, a show I normally ignore, when who should appear as their special socialist but good ol’ Barry himself smiling broadly from one elephantine ear to the other.

    Normally just hearing Owebama’s voice will elevate my blood pressure but before yesterday I had no idea the mere sight of him had any other physiological effects on me. I involuntarily inhaled 3/4 of my cup of coffee and the simultanious response gave me a nasal douche and in desperate need of CPR.

    I recovered from my coughing and sputtering in time to hear the first of the cottonball questions pitched by the ‘forward’ females on his stance on same sex marriage. Barry said, “I’ve been for same sex marriage for a long time.”
    What? Would that be before you were against it or before you were for it and then against it and now for it you lying bastard? One in six of Owebama’s top campaign contributors just happen to be gay according to the Washington Post.

    I’m starting to gain a certain minimal amount of respect of Barney Franks! At least he did it for pleasure, we’ve got a president who does it for money. I give you the leader of our Nation, President Prostitute! Ta-Ta-Tada-Da-Da!

  4. If the creamator of a creative society has according to journalist Seth Mandel’s discovery last week carried narcissm into unnatural realms.

    Owebama has authorized his staff to add his name to the biographies of the former presidents from Calvin Coolige to George W. Bush on the White House website.

    I can see how he thinks as an example: Calvin Coolige, as it now states at WhiteHouse.gov created the federal radio commission. Boo Boo Barry became the first president(?) to hold virtual gatherings and townhalls on Twitter, Google, Facebook, etc. Franklin D. Roosevelt created social security; Barry says FDR’s biography remains to ensure social security and protect elderly. Lincoln ended the civil war…Barry once thought about growing a beard.

    Evidently all former presidents are just place holders now that “The One” has arrived. His massive sense of ego is to propel all people into believing he is the culmination of all knowledge for the past 1,000 years.

    Not this kid!

  5. When the liar in chief leaves the WH , and unless he becomes president of the world, he will become a basket case, psychologically speaking.

    With his massive ego, he’ll need a much larger home than the one in Chicago. He’ll need the atmosphere of the wealthy and the Hollywood elite. He’ll need to be part of the Chicago political power structure.

    Of course he can go on a perpetual speaking tour , as long as the teleprompters are available !

  6. CitizenSailor

    Let’s have a convention. Balanced budgets and term limits.

  7. I think a convention is a great idea. Larry, would you be our moderator? Here are ten things to make you mad or drive you crazy:
    10 Political and Economic Imponderables that Should Drive You Crazy

    1. Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $40,000-a-plate campaign fund raising event.
    2. Only in America could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when we have a black President, a black Attorney General, and a federal work force that is roughly 18% black when the black population is only 12%.
    3. Only in America could we have had the two people most responsible for our tax code Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means Committee turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.
    4. Only in America can we have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.
    5. Only in America would we make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just become American citizens.
    6. Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as extremists.
    7. Only in America could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.
    8. Only in America could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of what a company that manufactures sports shoes and apparel (Nike) makes.
    9. Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more than it has per year for total spending ($7 million PER MINUTE), and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.
    10. Only in America could the rich people who pay 86% of all income taxes be accused of not paying their fair share by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.

  8. rko41,

    Right you are on the rich people. But in particular Warren Buffet and the liberal’s “Buffet Rule” is really grinding my grits. Buffett lives in Omaha, NE. a city(?) I live just outside of by choice. I wrote a letter into the “Public Pulse”, a feature in Omaha’s newspaper with the largest circulation in the state AND which just happened to be bought out by ol’ Warren himself last January.

    The letter was in response to a gentleman who was in favor of taxing the rich. I responded with not only lack of mathematical sense such legislature made but also the fact that Warren’s companies are litigating their taxes going back to 2002. Just Google it.

    After a week and a half my letter was published today, minus around 60 words. All of them pretaining to the factual criticism of Warren Buffet!

    In yesterday’s news, Buffett has bought 163 newspapers nation wide. I can see it now: Your news today, presented through the Buffett Rule!

  9. CitizenSailor

    RKO41, you’re the man or women, as the case may be!

  10. Is Buffett’s purchase of that newspaper a sincere investment strategy, especially since the print media is struggling to exist, or is it a way to insure ultra favorable coverage for OEWbama ? Afterall, aren’t these two buddy-buddy ?

    It makes sense for Buffett to own a group of small town papers , since they have a greater influence than their large city counterparts, which are already pro Democrat . Net result – the OWEbama media just got larger.

    What will be the next big project to help ensure the re-election of the worst president in the history of the US ??

  11. Oxymoron of the day – ” OWEbama Re-election “

  12. RKO, I love your list! It is so accurate….. and scary!

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