If the dissemination of reality were mandatory within the world of politics (and it SHOULD be mandatory because we are the VICTIMS of their follies..) the following would be the transcript from the next OWEbama shampaign speech/donation grovel..
The price for a gallon of gasoline has gone up a full two dollars a gallon since I took office. During the entire eight years of the Bush administration, it went up a mere thirty cents a gallon. Five years ago, my collectivist contemporaries made heavy weather of this thirty cent “increase” including Nancy Pelosi who guaranteed that the price of gasoline would DROP if we were given the House..
Since I entered DC, at least six million jobs have disappeared due to my Democratic diligence. The exact number will be difficult to report to you at this time as the fascist fog of “jobs saved or created” and “jobs supported”, magnificent ruses created by my Marxist mentors has made the process of an actual tally extremely difficult but as you know, that is why we do things like that..
Almost any descriptor about America that has been effected by my socialist scorched Earth programs and policies since January of 2009 has had to be followed by the word “crisis”.. The economic “crisis”. The housing “crisis”. The genuine “crisis” has come about due to the Democratic majorities in BOTH Houses since 2006 and it was brought to a head when the nation nonsensically fell for the ruse of “hope and change”. There is no “hope” and the “change” was NOT for the better..
As you all know, whenever there is a “crisis”, real or imaginary, the ONLY answer is to employ MORE liberals in Washington and for them to get about the business of sequestering more “revenues”.. The ONLY reason that there is ANY “crisis” in America is due to the chronic under-funding of the plethora of progressive panaceas.
Housing sales and home values are at “historic” lows. However, I feel that America’s “investment” in such scandals as Solyndra have made the nation safer and much more energy efficient..
I personally fostered “historic” debt, deficits and defaults, however, the “default” for all of this that “we have inherited” came from the previous president.. Get it, “default’? I wrote that joke myself, people.. On a more serious note, even though I brought in scads of unconstitutional “czars” and even though their efforts were combined with the ridiculous number of liberal Democrats that I installed within my administration, even with ALL of that assembled liberal brilliance, we couldn’t figure out how to “fix” the economy that I like to claim was masterminded by a solitary simpleton from Texas.. So we just gave up and we figured that we would just reward each other by trying to steal as much from the middle class as we could while we could..
That’s right, I openly bribed Democratic politicians in order to have my socialized medicine scam passed onto the backs of the middle class. The total cost for this lunacy still hasn’t been, nor actually can it be estimated, but it was nice of everyone to fall for OUR completely made up, low ball numbers BEFORE the votes were counted..
Under my watchful eye, the Fast and Furious scandal erupted for about a day or two and recently the Solyndra scandal made headlines for about ten or fifteen minutes.
On that note, I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my “friends” of the “impartial” media for running interference for me and my “Target America First” administration. NONE of this would have been possible without their tacit approval and their masterful deflection and distraction techniques.. Their work in getting me elected and their help as I was planting my IED’s within the nation’s economy will not be soon forgotten..
Based upon my obvious successes in the past four years, I would appreciate your vote so that we can continue to destroy that which was America and if given another chance, I promise that I will redouble my efforts to that end.. Those of you who want a picture with George Clooney and me, get out your checkbooks now and form a line on the left..
I suppose that OWEbama won’t be saying, “they’re trying to scare you about me” this time around because what he has done to America is SCARY enough..
This is what we SHOULD be hearing, this is what we should have heard from those tasked with allegedly “telling the truth”, you know, “reporting”, but exactly what HAVE we been hearing in the last few months? In this order: the “contraception deception”, including the free gift of the non-issue “slut” NON-controversy, a dead black thug in Florida, “I killed Osama”, “NOW I support gay marriage” and now everyone is all agog over the cover of the insignificant Time magazine (which was followed up by the even more insignificant “Newsweek” gay halo cover)..
As cover and concealment of the REAL “War on Women” being fought by the Democrats, I believe that the “crisis” of “salary parity” for women might need to be addressed soon.. Just a few moments ago, just before he flip-flopped (Kerry’d) on the whole gay thing, OWEbama was making the rounds to at least 130 colleges. He HAD to address the “crisis” of the nation’s “student loans” and the best place to do that is in front of the college age VOTERS who aren’t familiar with the Democratic “promise and DON’T deliver” style of campaigning.. Matters not, just count the votes. How they are acquired is irrelevant..
The left will prove that they will do ANYTHING to keep you from “looking back” and should you be so intrepid as to attempt to do so, they will accuse you of “looking BLACK”.. If anyone’s research begins to reveal the light of day upon ANY of the OWEbama heresy and if any media outlet dares to expose the exposé, the left will trot out its certified racist lunatics who will bellow that this is STILL a nation replete with “racists”.. The cameras will roll, the flashbulbs will pop and those with an actual argument AGAINST OWEbama and the Democrats will be intimidated into silence.. Those not intimidated will then just be ignored by the “impartial” media..
With just a cursory glance at the ACTUAL OWEbama “record”, it is no wonder he NOW likes something as “controversial” as gay marriage. The left is desperately flailing to “support” ANYTHING that will then effectively take YOUR eyes off of the OWEbama record of “accomplishments”. Gay marriage? Desperation makes for some strange bedfellows and there isn’t anyone stranger than the denizens of the Democratic Party..