Litigious Litany

Occasionally, a news headline inspires feelings of hope.. “Weak jobs market drives down law school enrollment”. (Breitbart) GOOD. We have become a nation overwhelmed by lawyers and that has created a mephitic parallel phenomenon of making us an annoyingly litigious nation, we labor under a litany of litigious larceny, if you will..

When has a day passed where you HAVEN’T heard about someone “suing” someone else for the most inane of “reasons”? Too many lawyers begets too many judges, which then begets too many frivolous lawsuits clogging up the courts (which have been intellectually “clogged” for decades..) that have been clogged with the polysyllabic piffle of these oafish orators.. As well, this depressing digression begets too many politicians as there are only so many courts.. For now..

We HAVE to conclude that the precipitous increase in the percentage of lawyers who also claim to be “politicians” on their tax forms (Do politicians file tax forms? I know that the idea is verboten within the OWEbama caliphate..) has directly led to the increase in ten thousand page “laws” relative to such mundane things as stop sign placement or the wearing of the color white pre or post summer, never mind their Herculean whacks at such things as OWEbamaScare..

That is correct, Washington is awash in lawyers and you only need be mildly observant to see the damage that they have done.. The bottom line is that these lawyers have done as much good for America via Washington as water has done good for the Grand Canyon via the rivers..

The concept of the politician who is almost exclusively simultaneously found to be a lawyer as a previous or concurrent avocation is a relatively recent occurrence. (After “politicians” give up the ghost, they seem more often than not to become “lobbyists”, another repulsive form of rodent..) The Founding Fathers were mostly “hands on” kind of men as opposed to the occult and mystical intellectualism of the “average” modern lawyer thus the reason that the Founder’s parchments were so cut and dried. It only took the application of the sinister lawyers and their accomplices, activist judges, for there to be almost daily “discoveries” of subtle “legal” nuances to be found within the cracks and crevices of these documents..

It seems that the world’s lawyers are out to “save” us. This “saving” ALWAYS comes at a hefty price.. The “price” is either the permanent damage done to our venerable institutions like the Boy Scouts or the “price” comes from the amount of lucre taken from our savings accounts.. This last “price” is either direct or indirect..

The “direct” price comes from the fact that the lawyer takes at least fifty percent of what is allegedly “owed” you, the alleged “victim”. The “indirect” price comes from the companies targeted by our erstwhile lawyer who then raise their prices paid by EVERYONE ELSE in order to cover what a lawyer, a judge and a jury of imbeciles have decided was an appropriate penance for some alleged misdeed or malfeasance..

These lawyers need to “save” us from something, then again, when ONE PERSON files a lawsuit, this plaintiff has now become the spokesperson for EVERYONE even though the overwhelming majority of us DISAGREE with the aggrieved.. In the lawyer’s world, the ONE speaks for the many even though the MANY completely disagree..

As a most recent example, in Billy Bob Clinton’s Arkansas, the students of Terry Elementary School in Little Rock were invited to a production of “Charlie Brown’s Christmas” at the Agape Church. Attendance WAS NOT mandatory, as a letter home to parents stated. That’s when the trouble began..

Enter ONE aggrieved “parent” (“singular”, a bit more on that later..) who coincidentally also happens to be a member of the “Arkansas Society of Free Thinkers”.. (Note the specter of the ever-present liberal “definitional inversion”, both “Free” and “Thinkers” are in play.) This parent (singular) and her child were “free” NOT to attend this production, but they and their helpful lawyer, now want NO ONE to attend, improperly infringing upon EVEYONE ELSES “freedom” TO attend if they wish..

So much for “free” thought within the liberal enclave.. As well, I am going to say that within the “Arkansas Free Thinkers” society, the “tree of knowledge” was run over by a pickup truck and replaced with an ignorance shrub along with copious amounts of manure..

As well, enter yet ANOTHER helpful “lawyer”, one Annie Orsi who is also the “vice president” of the “Arkansas Free Thinkers”.. (The “price” that I mentioned earlier also leads “lawyers” to seek out cases where their altruistic FREE services nets them valuable “free advertising”, which then “rewards” them in the future..) The “Free Thinkers” simply mean that you MUST “think” as they do and if you don’t, another “lawyer” will be hunting you down as a heretic to THEIR version of “free” thought.. “Free thought” within this assemblage of crusty curmudgeons is as illusive as the “thought” of dieting by Michael Moore, “free” or otherwise..

These ever so helpful lawyers want to “save” us from ourselves.. There isn’t an item in your home that was manufactured after, say the 1960’s (surprise!!) that isn’t plastered with copious “warning labels”.. Here the process of “natural selection”, a concept that I thought the liberals believed in, can do its best work towards culling the nation’s imbeciles from the herd but the helpful lawyers want to step in and “save” those who are, based upon their stupid actions, sorely wanted in Heaven..

In short, ANY TIME that you see a “warning label”, SOMEONE SOMEWHERE actually DID what it is that you are now being “warned” NOT to do.. In EVERY case, these “warning labels” are completely unnecessary to those of us with a fully functional mind. As well, this “warning label” reminds us that whoever this actual VICTIM of their own stupidity was, has been handsomely rewarded for their stupidity by a “jury of their peers” (a frightening enough thought on its own) based upon the “merits” of yet another lawsuit..

The company, the ones stupid enough to allow the stupid to continually be their customers, then gets lambasted by the “legal” system and they then in turn lambaste the REST of the intelligent consumers of their product by raising their prices in order to cover the cost of paying off the latest Forrest Gump to stumble into one of their stores.. In the end, WE pay “in the end” (sans lubricant..) for the stupidity of ONE knucklehead and for the pleasure, we get twenty colorful “warning labels” attached to a product that now costs US five dollars more.. We get “warning labels” that we do not need supplied by lawyers and lawsuits that no one needs..

As well, lets look beyond the self-serving lawyers for a moment. Why is there this apparent NEED for so many obnoxious warning labels? True, there are a large number of ambulance-chasing lawyers and there are also a number of “forward thinkers” in the business world who plaster these “warnings” everywhere so that they WON’T become the next victim of an idiot’s lawsuit but I believe that there may be more than either of these theories to this phenomenon..

PARENTS (plural) USED to disseminate the logic ensconced within today’s warning labels. Sure the “you’ll poke your eye out” and the “careful or you’ll break your neck” screeching seems like overkill now but at the time, when PARENTS used to actually be around to WATCH children, there wasn’t a need for eighty warning labels on EVERY item found in the home.. After “hearing” relentless warnings in a timely manner at two hundred decibels during your formative years, you developed a sense of awareness that carried you through to old age.. Since “children” now raise themselves, there aren’t any checks and balances other than the “oops, too late” warning from a warning label..

Until a cure for this “need” for so many lawyers is found, the litany of litigious lunacy will unfortunately continue unabated..


20 responses to “Litigious Litany

  1. Family,

    The latest from TOTD:

    Thanks as always,


  2. Larry,

    Good stuff, as usual. As I’ve said many times, we need a ‘few’ good lawyers, and we need to get rid of the ‘bad’ ones. Perhaps placing a bounty on the bad ones ! Just kidding.
    Maybe the number of lawyers should be limited to a certain percentage of the total population, as in the affirmation action concept which was pushed by the lawyers. We could put ‘limits’ on them , just as they have put ‘limits’ on all of us ! Don’t know if it is still true, but as I recall, we had the highest number of lawyers / capita than all developed countries. Not only was it high, but it was way out of proportion compared to the other countries.

    Not sure I grasped your comment on the Grand Canyon, but it is IMO , a good thing,for several reasons. It is an awesome sight to peer down into it, but as I have experienced, it is quite the sight to view it from the bottom.
    It was 115 degrees that day, but a worthwhile hike, nonetheless.

  3. BTW, regarding ‘warning labels’ , perhaps all Liberals should be required to wear one on their forehead, which would read ” WARNING, I am a Liberal ” .
    This would be helpful for our self-preservation . 🙂

  4. Parents parenting, Teachers teaching, Adults acting like responsible adults… what a wonderful world…(I know that’s a song) It almost seems like too much to ask in this day and age. Isn’t there an award they give out for taking yourself out of the gene pool in the stupidest way? We need to find that and award in monthly.

    JJ, that is the best idea I have heard all day!

  5. Politicians paying taxes? Not only did Obama hire people that owed back taxes but it seems he’s put a valve in his “trickle down” program. According to Patriot Update (Nov. 17) “ABC ran a story back in January about 36 Obama aides owing $833,970 in back taxes.” There was no follow-up and not a word was heard after Obama’s unfounded smear on Romney’s taxes. Then take a trip over to the EPA where 413 people owe more than $19 million dollars in back taxes! Nineteen million friggin dollars!
    At the FDIC, 185 employees owe more than $3 million; and five people in the U.S. Tax Court owe $62,508.
    I would like to see all of these peoples tax returns for the last 12 years as Obama requested of Romney. In fact, I’d like to see Obama’s too but those are probably sealed in a Hawaiian hospital’s record vault. It’s quite simple, really, when you think about it why liberals want to raise taxes all the time. They don’t pay them!

    As far as warning labels being placed on items for a purpose, I came across one that I am sure can be attributed to the Arkansas Free “of common sense” Thinkers. If you have the affliction hemmoroids you may be familiar with the product Preparation H. On the container is printed; Caution: Do Not Take Orally.

  6. Joe,

    The Preparation H warning was probably because some thought it was a remedy for ” diarrhea of the mouth”. They were probably Liberals. Just a guess !!

  7. I tend to agree with Mark Twain and the Bard, and maybe we should get rid of all the lawyers. The problem we have is not only are there too many lawyers, but we now have a nation where the lone offended party is allowed to dictate terms to the rest of us.The next group of atheists whom cry about a Nativity scene should be told to sit down and shut up (and remind them they will burn in Hell for their heathen views), and if they don’t like it they don’t need to see it. If real Christmas music offends them they should plug their ears and hum real loud to drown it out if they wish, but let the rest of us enjoy the season for what it is about. Nobody is making them see views of Christian faith, unlike the way the views of atheists, gays, Muslims, et al. are being shoved down our collective throats in the name of ‘diversity and tolerance’.


    Did you ever wonder why politicians use the term ” middle class”, especially since it does not have a concise definition. The term is loosely used to identify a group that is between the ‘working class’ and the ‘upper class ‘.
    If the ‘working class’ is defined as the group that ‘works for wages’ , does that infer that members of the other two groups do not work ? And if the working class is considered to be primarily ‘blue collar’ workers, then how can income be a deciding factor for inclusion in the middle class, if many skilled blue collar workers earn more than salaried white collar workers?

    So, when considering the socio-economic breakdowns, exactly what is the ” middle class” ? It would appear to be one of those nebulous concepts which is not concise, and therefore rife for political gamesmanship.

    And, without a clear-cut definition of ” middle class “, can we decide as to whether or not we want to be part of it, depending on such factors as tax rates? For example, if there is a tax cut for the ‘middle class’ , can we then opt into that class? In other words, why can’t we play the political SEMANTICS game ?

    Allow me to summarize this nonsense with the following :

    What’s good for the semantic goose is good for the semantic gander !!

  9. What a great article. Needed my dictionary a couple of times and need to clean the keyboard.

    When you mentioned As(s)inine lawsuits, I always think of the woman spilling hot coffee on herself and suing McDonald’s. I think that one lawsuit probably generated more lawsuits than any other single suit. I just saw a window sticker on a pickup as I was driving home:
    “Without integrity
    “Nothing else matters”.
    The absence of this one human trait, really does make everything else null and void. And I loved the part about parenting. I doubt there are any statistics to bear this out, but it seems like 90% of stupid and felonious acts can be attributed to single parent homes and lately I have wondered about what one teacher can incite in her or his captive audience. The stories being uncovered regarding what our children are being taught, I’m for home schooling. To wit: The Boston Tea Party was an act of terrorism!

  10. Richard,

    What will you do when Larry starts using the ” unabridged” dictionary ?
    BTW, is there an “unabridged” Thesaurus ? 🙂

    I’m also in favor of SOME home schooling, namely by a ‘qualified’ parent ( hopefully in a two parent household ) , and a system which also requires that the child take part in some activity at a regular school to enhance some social interaction. We have a good idea as to what lies ahead for a child born to a teenager who becomes a single parent , because we already see the results.

    A side benefit of home schooling is the reduction of daytime home burglaries, since the home is now occupied more often. I could go on and on about the benefits of having a least one parent in the home almost all of the time.


    Remember when OWEbaama claimed that he would not raise taxes ONE DIME on the middle class?

    That simple statement presents a TRIPLE semantics whammy :
    1) There was no time frame given.
    2) Again, what exactly is the ‘middle class’ ?
    3) The ONE dime reference is deceptive at best, but somewhat correct via ‘selective’ semantics, in that taxes for all taxpayers will increase by much more than ONE dime, in fact the average taxpayer will see tax increases of more than 35,000 dimes !!

    So, whenever a politician, especially OWEbaama, says something, we should analyze almost every word as they play the semantics game.
    And to ‘clarify’ the above mess, simply add Jay Carney to the mix!

    Oh, speaking of the ‘middle class ‘ , weren’t the Dems vehemently opposed to all of the Bush tax cuts ? But now, they want to keep them for the ‘middle class’. Imagine that, they want to keep some of those destructive , evil tax cuts.

    The wonderful world of politics – gotta love it !!!

  12. Semantics vs Lying – you decide

    Remember when OWEbaama claimed that his healthcare act was modeled after Romneycare, and that OWEbamacare would lower the cost of healthcare?

    An analysis of Romneycare vs comparable insurance coverage in a dozen states across the country resulted in the following :
    Romneycare was three times as expensive as the lowest state, and Romneycare was twice as expensive as the average of all of the sampled states. Therefore, with it’s multitude of taxes, and open ended opportunity to create additional taxes, how in the world can OWEbaamacare lower the cost of healthcare as OWEbaama has promised ?

  13. “You have to sign the bill to see what’s in it” – the GOP fell for that stupidity with OWEbaamacare . Will they be tricked again regarding the fiscal cliff, by believing that the Dems will reduce spending LATER , if the GOP will agree to raise taxes now ??

    Some pundits believe that we should go over the cliff, thereby making OWEbaama’s second term the culprit by placing the blame squarely on the Dems. Somehow, this disastrous rampant spending by the Libs MUST stop, and maybe it will take some drastic measures for the average citizen to understand the severity of our economic situation.

  14. Well I hope to keep up with Larry. My computer spell check very often rejects Larry’s prose. No matter, If I don’t know the meaning I know the context of the word.

    JJ – The RNC and thereby all Repubs and Rhinos, are the most blatant crew of sissies any government would dread. Some serious spinal adjustment is needed and some very basic political, social and historical teaching should be mandatory each day until they find themselves and their patriotic intestinal fortitude!

  15. Richard,

    As you know, I’ve been complaining about the RNC, and the GOP in Congress , especially faux tan Wimpy Boenher, for a long time.

    Speaking of dictionaries, it seems that most politicians when taking their oath of office have invariably confused the word ‘Constitution’ with the word ‘paycheck’. Did you ever notice when a newly elected member of Congress goes to the District of Corruption, they are usually full of good intentions and the desire to do the right thing ? But, before long, they begin to suffer from a malady that is known as “Potomac Fever”, which primarily attacks the brain. The problem is that eventually it is the taxpayers who will then suffer the consequences. However, the non-taxpayers seem to be the beneficiaries in many cases. Perhaps that explains why “Potomac Fever” has not yet been eradicated ! Just a guess.

  16. I previously asked what happened to the mid-term conservatives we sent to the District of Corruption? They have been silent for two years and I would like to audit their personal wealth as of election day 2010 and as of the end of this congressional session. Seems that has been their problem: The Potomac Fever has over taken them and they have turned into bobble heads. It makes me mad enough to put my fist through a wall! While the congress is stalled, OWEbaaaaama sneaks around the deaf mutes, using executive order (who approved that loop hole?) and does what he wants and nobody says a damn thing about what we the people want. Now the big zero is asking for huge funds immediately with an open ceiling! One thing you have to say about zippy, he sure has a lot of gall!

  17. Even Ringling Bros. couldn’t put together a “3 ring circus ” like the one we have in the District of Corruption : the brown clown, vodka Joe, nasty nancy, and dingy Harry. And, you’ll have to look very hard for the elephants ( ie, the GOP ) because their stature is so miniscule , they’re almost invisible.

  18. Hopefully you noticed that there are ‘four’ in the DC circus, and that is due to the fact that in the District of Corruption, it takes ‘four’ to do the job of ‘three’. Nonetheless, it does not improve the elephant problem.


    In the past few months, especially last week, we’ve heard that term used ad nauseum.

    However, where are the PC police and the Affirmation Action activists , because that term is ‘racist’ , in that there is not a day of the week dedicated to people of other skin colors. Why isn’t there a WHITE friday, or saturday, etc. ? Where is the outrage from the Native Americans, and Asians – where is their ‘day of the week’ ?

    The fraud in the WH is constantly calling for a ‘level playing field’ , and that everyone has a ‘fair shot’ . So, Mr. Current Resident of the WH , when does ‘whitey’ get his day of the week? WHITE WEDNESDAY has a certain melodic ring to it, so perhaps he should give it some consideration. And, it might even be considered ‘fair’ !

    Since saturday and sunday are special , they should be ‘off limits’ , which leaves monday, tuesday, and thursday for the Asians and Native Americans .

    However, if the affirmation action rules ( which are based on population percentages ) are used, then ‘whitey’ will be able to claim one of those three days. But, terminology such as ” white 3/4 tuesday” just doesn’t have much appeal, so that might open up a whole new set of rules !

    As we can see, all of this political correctness, affirmation action, fairness, level playing field rhetoric hasn’t really solved much, has it?

    However, it presented the opportunity for a little Saturday Sarcasm.

  20. If I offend anyone with the Saturday Sarcasm, perhaps some sort of balance should be considered – maybe something like ” Sunday Solace ” .

    Will have to think about that .

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