Political Potpourri

It has been revealed that Ms.Rodham just “deposited” five million of her own dollars into her bumbling campaign. That leaves at least ninety five million dollars available for her to tap into if necessary, from her miraculous insider trading “success” in cattle futures..

Never fear, if you add up all the advances from their mutual undertakings in written fiction and Bill’s “excellent adventure” as a Middle Eastern spokesweasel, I am sure that there is at least two hundred million more dollars in the Clinton kitty. This is an educated guess because the candidate who is advocating “transparency in government” won’t release her taxes and has sealed all of her records. This “public service” thing apparently pays (off) pretty well.

In this age of “Easy Credit” can’t we find a few palatable options so that this “campaign of hope” can stay afloat? How about a “Pay Day Loan”? Unfortunately, Bill is out on this one since he had to scratch out “Muslim shill” from his own W-2. However, Hill could waddle down with the check stub that she receives for portraying “Senator Sandbagger”, the “one term carpetbagger” who, for political convenience, adopted New York as her home state. Maybe they could pawn off some of the stuff that the Clintonista’s “sequestered” when they skulked from the White House in early 2001. A quick call or two to any of their Chinese “friends” who aren’t in jail might net them more cash for the “Communist Caravan” to continue wobbling across the country. How about one of those “Quick Title” loans? Bill or Hill could run one of the federally provided limousines in for a quick infusion of cash.

In the end, I am sure it is hard to acquire donations when your core constituency lives in cardboard boxes and shops in the dumpsters behind the Clinton campaign headquarters. There is more than just a little delicious irony in the fact that the “Clinton base” usually crawls to politicians like the Clinton’s looking for their handouts and now it’s the other way around. Here’s hoping that ATM’s nationwide will soon be overwhelmed with a deluge of Clinton campaign withdrawals done under the cover of night. The next time you wander by the Clinton campaign offices, take a glance in the window. I’ll bet that they will all be rolling pennies as opposed to rolling fatties like they used to.

The Clinton Democratic way to tighten your budget is to simply not pay your bills. In Portsmouth New Hampshire, the Rodham machine ducked out on the land lord (probably some evil American capitalist..) and left all of their trash strewn about the property. As well, an Iowa based cleaning firm, Top Job Services Inc., is owed $7,561.70 for services rendered. Rodham is just emulating her constituents who are always conveniently unavailable come the first of the month. What a flawless example of how the Clinton Campaign “appreciates” the small businessman. It looks as if “thirty five years experience” basically means the unparalleled ability to deftly avoid the bill collector by jumping out of the bathroom window when the doorbell rings. There is nothing that screams “Presidential” more than a warrant for your arrest for vagrancy and an eviction notice from the state..

One David Shuster, tried valiantly to jump start the Rodham campaign of malaise by postulating that little Chelsea is being “pimped out in some weird sort of way.” Next stop: the moral indignation of the “protective mother” complete with tears (provided by the successful completion of the “Strasberg method acting” correspondence course.) and the requisite runny make up. Is what Shuster said the most unreasonable of accusations considering that there are no bigger political pimps than ANYONE named Clinton? When they sent the “White Knight/ First Black President” out there with his wagging finger and his ridiculous rhetoric on full fictional auto, the results weren’t as successful as they had planned. So they reeled him back in, changed the key and tried another chorus of the Rodham/Horst Wessel campaign theme song while they keep trotting out various Clintons until they find one who doesn’t offend or hit on, every one in the room.

It is the “Clinton Cooked Pasta” political theory. They just keep throwing things against the wall until something finally sticks. Their failure to “connect” with the Democratic base has to frustrate the Clintons considering that they are competing for the same votes against someone who is apparently better at saying absolutely nothing than they are.

All of the moon-eyed mantras of “change” and “JFK” have the Rodham camp scrambling for similar breezy comparisons to velcro to Mrs. Personality. My suggestion is Eleanor Roosevelt. Both she and Rodham are/were corpulent, unalluring former first ladies who have both enthusiastically snuggled up to Communism. Actually, with all of her handy work done on behalf of the Black Panthers, she should bill herself as the “First Black Panther ex First Lady.” If the Eleanor imagery flops miserably, my next suggestions would be either Mrs. Doubtfire or Mayberry’s Aunt Bea.

Now might be a good time to heave out the “experience” musings again. Lets feature the “Make Every Vote Count” act, the cornerstone of which was to allow convicted felons (AKA: Democratic contributors.) the “right” to vote. Maybe they should refresh everyone’s memories relative to the “Seventy Billion Dollar Jump Start the Economy” fiasco. How about we revisit the vote FOR the War in Iraq, then the “Kerry mackerel flop” and “triangulation dance.” I think they should begin calling her “Mother Clinton.” Could anyone “mother” America better than the matriarchal Mother Jones from New York via Arkansas via Illinois?

How is it that the rhapsodic but inane rhetoric of Obama is having such an impact? I believe that this is giving the Obama baloney too much of the credit. It is quite possible that even the doltish Democrats have drawn the conclusion that Obama, up to this point, better hides the “Unelectable Inherent Democratic Socialism” than the fellow traveler from New York. Being thoroughly steeped in the collectivist claptrap of her inbred elitist Socialism is the only thing she actually has thirty-five years of experience in. It could very well be that even the childish progressives have grown tired of her “ideas” of a “Liberal Lebensborn”, her “transparent” lust for power and her “magnetic” personality.

For the sake of “Presidential imagery”, I hope the Rodham candidacy eventually fails. Nothing would be more ridiculous than seeing her along with a contingent of Secret Service agents participating in the mandatory presidential hobby of jogging…It was silly enough when Bill did it.

I swear that when I was at the grocery store today, I saw Howard Dean’s picture on all of the milk cartons. Where has the loony liberal liability been for the last five months?

If it ends up being Obama versus McCain, the choice for many will be the lesser of two evils. The problem with that is that in the end, you are still left with an evil..